Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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