imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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