JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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