Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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