I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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