Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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