Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
