her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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