thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Congratulations! We have a period
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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