Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
