If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
