dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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