I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I will be naked everywhere
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
