its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
