Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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