i jhust puked up my retainher.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
