I am spending my child support on dildos
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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