At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
