I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
