Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
