Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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