wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
