You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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