He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
