she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
