How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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