He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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