The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
