Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
