she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
