i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
