He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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