Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize