Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
