So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
