Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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