chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I did not marry a roomba.
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