just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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