I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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