I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i think i just lost a toe
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
