On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
