Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
