i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
