i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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