i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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