I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated