Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need moral support for this bender
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize