Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
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Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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