Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
