I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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