how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
