How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I am midnight drunk by noon
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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