bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
