Have you finally orgasmed yet?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
