And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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