when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize