just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
