i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
