is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
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