He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
