Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
