I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize