You just made me feel so damn special
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
