scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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