from now on my penis is your penis
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
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