Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
