WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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