i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
