Do you still have your period?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
