Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
