I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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